October 11: Teaching Boys How To Not Suck

It is with great pleasure that I acknowledge #NationalComingOutDay and #FreedomForGirls, and #DayOfTheGirl with this little nugget of motherly wisdom from Mayim Bialik and the re-release of Freedom from Queen Bey herself.

Let’s face it people, the power that we have traditionally handed over to men has been a recipe for disaster. “Power corrupts” isn’t just a catchy phrase, it’s a universal truth. There is a reason why people in positions of power or authority are routinely found to be abusive, corrupt, insane or my favorite…ALL THREE!

I am a firm believer that the disenfranchised and the disempowered cannot expect anything but abuse or neglect from the powerful. So what do we do? We enrich and empower ourselves. We find new and more egalitarian ways of raising our children, regardless of gender. We accept nothing less than equal treatment before the law and in our personal relationships. Sometimes, there is power in walking away empty handed. There is power in saying “I will be single before I allow you to hurt me.” There is power in saying “we, as women, can devise ways to improve our lives and the lives of our children that do not depend on male approval or participation.” There is power in recognizing that women and men are different, but not inferior. 

When it comes to the gender divide what we must remember is that WE as mothers, sisters, wives, and even daughter ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. Men will never rise to the challenge of being bigger, better human beings if we never issue that challenge. If we don’t demand more of them, from childhood, then we can’t really be surprised when they turn out to be horribly disappointing. So, if we want to see an end to the Weinsteins (and Trumps) of the world, we are going to have to do a better job of raising boys who see ALL people as equal human beings regardless of gender (or gender expression). 

If your son is chasing girls and holding them down to steal a kiss he is doing something wrong. ACT LIKE IT!!!! If the only way he knows how to express his affection for a young lady is to hit or tease her, he needs help learning how to handle his emotions. ACT LIKE IT!!! If he is playing games with young ladies’ hearts, or jumping from one young lady with low self-esteem/standards to another he is developing a habit of unhealthy relationships with women. That’s a problem. ACT LIKE IT!!!

He isn’t “being young”, “sowing wild oats” or “just being a boy”, he is developing habits that will make him a problem for somebody’s daughter in just a few years. You are raising the next Weinstein. Treat those problematic behaviors the way you would treat stealing, lying, or constantly getting into fights. If not, then be assured that YOU are part of the problem. 

And now this…

 

 

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